My Darling Daughters,

Right now, you are nine-years old (well, almost ten) and your skin is porcelain, smooth and glowing. In summer, it turns this fantastic shade of deep golden brown, when it’s been kissed by the sun (even when I’ve coated it in layers of SPF 50). Your hair is ten gorgeous shades of blond, from crisp white, to soft brown, resulting in a natural highlight job most of us would kill for. Your eyebrows are thick and overgrown, your eyes clear and bright.

You are truly perfect.

My beautiful girls

So, I thought I’d let you know what’s looming in your future, say in about thirty years. Now this isn’t to depress you, or scare you, it’s just all the things I wish someone had told me when I hit forty. Sure, I’d heard “it’s all downhill once you hit forty.” But no one ever expanded on what exactly would be sliding down that hill. And besides, I was like you are, I always believed that it would NEVER happen to me. I’d be the one exception in history that would never be damaged by age. Yes, I know you think that too, and you’ll keep thinking it through your thirties, as you should. But than one day you might wake up and say; “hold the fuck on… wasn’t my eyebrow ABOVE my eyelid?” Read more ›