Reader Question:
She is a mother of 2, married. Though she loves her children deeply she cant help but feel a loss in her life of her dreams, ambitions and aspirations. She gave up her career to be a stay at home mom, but is now back to work part-time and loving it. She still feels like she is trapped to a degree in a life absent of the fun she used to have..
My Thoughts…
Now I know what some of you “amazing moms” are saying right now. What? You don’t love your kids?? You don’t love spending time with them?? Come on now! Of course we love our kids, and we are both good mothers, its not about that, even if the pressure is intense from society for us to think other wise.
But it’s hard when you used to love your job, felt fulfilled, enjoyed the social connection and mental stimulation it provided. Then to instead have your day filled with cleaning, cooking and potty training, it can ware down even the best “super mom’s” out there! That’s why we get what my OB called “mommy brain” where our brains turn to mush!
So believe me I can relate to how you are feeling. There would be times when I would remember my old dreams and goals for myself, and get even more depressed. It seemed like anything I wanted to do was now out of the question for the next 18 years. Every day seemed just like the last, a struggle. I felt alone and secluded, and mourned my old dreams. The future looked grey, and I didn’t know how to define it for me. I didn’t even know who ME was anymore.
It’s hard to give hope, love and inspiration to your family if we as mom’s feel drained of it ourselves.
So here is my suggestion…On a night when you are alone (and will be, so you don’t feel rushed), grab a glass of wine, turn on some nice music, maybe even light some candles. Set the mood for you to be relaxed and calm.
Then get a note pad and write your bucket list.
Take your time with this.
Write down everything you ever wanted to do. Everything!
Describe it in as much detail as possible.
Take the time to really think about each item. Visualize it. Call up a little mini movie in your head for each one.
Let yourself feel happy as you go through each item on your list.
Enjoy the process, it should be kinda fun. It’s your ultimate wish list, so nothing is off limits.
When it’s complete, and everything you ever wanted to do is represented there…you should feel the joy of that little spark, I like to call hope.
Because after all this is a list of everything you WILL DO BEFORE YOU DIE.
You will do these things at some point in your life. Don’t let doubt or reason or reality play ANY part in this list.
This list is YOURS.
Maybe keep it to yourself for a while if you don’t feel the people in your life will support it. It’s like a little fragile seed, protect it until your faith is a little stronger.
But read your list every night.
Let your mind wander on each item, picture them clearly in your head.
Realize you are still full of dreams and ambitions that WILL come true.
Do this, then email me and we will work on step 2, which is putting this into action.
You are NOT alone, trust me. Thank you for reaching out!
*This is an interactive blog, please leave your thoughts in the comment section, I will respond. And if you have a question for me feel free to email me directly at thoughtsstorieslife@gmail.com
Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.
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Author | Life Coach | Motivational Speaker and single mama. I'm a chick on a mission to prove anything is possible for ANYONE. My story featured in the New York Times, Steve Harvey Show and NBC.
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