Oh right, I did. Well you should know better than to listen to me. If you were wondering if I can take my own dating advise, I’m here to say, nope, sure can’t.
This is what happens when you drunk-dial the love of your life after not talking for months. In which you call him an asshole, while saying you want to live happily-ever-after, with him (this is why people shouldn’t drink, it makes you bipolar). And after he emails you that he just spoke to a customer service rep who sounded “exactly like you“, which made him miss you and send an email saying so. And after the Universe told you some pretty crazy shit which made him call you for the first time in months….
…email sent to try and correct above mentioned fuckup:
“I’m sorry I said you’re an asshole. I only partially think that’s true. I mean you are being an asshole, but I know why. And as much as I hate it, I also get it. You’re not an asshole, just being one to me. Which I probably deserve.
Right after I read your note, the next email I read was my daily note from the “Universe” which was crazy timing to say the least. And which pretty much fucked up my head for the rest of the day. (Smh)
 |
| Realllly??? |
Then tonight Mira asked me why she never hears “
he’s so fluffy I’m gonna die” when I get a text message anymore. I said because I don’t really talk to Derrick (not his real name) anymore… “Sometimes grownups stop being friends.”
And my 4-year-old says; “Mama you better talk to him or he’s not gonna like you any more, and you love ‘he’s so fluffy your gonna die’, and what letter does Derrick start with?”
And I said “D”.
And then I thought I might wanna take back the whole asshole bit, so I can sleep at night.
So I mostly take it back.
 |
| … *Sign… Tears …FML |
I keep wondering what you thought when you heard a voice that sounded like mine. Hope it made you miss mine like crazy.
Hopefully you deleted my voicemail before listening to it. I may have been inebriated and PMSing and cried all weekend because it was the first Mother’s Day I’ve ever had without my kids. And because six years ago on Mother’s Day I lost a baby. A mother with no kids. Alone on a day for Mothers.
It was fucking depressing.
And I wanted all day to hear you say “Happy Mother’s Day” to me, but knew you wouldn’t. (asshole reasoning inserted here)
And then I wondered who you’ll say that to one day.
And then I started drinking heavily.
And watched Pretty Women twice in a row, hammered, because I thought once wasn’t pathetic enough. And because I think I’m Cinda-fuckin-rella and that fairy-tale endings exist.
So there you have it. You drive me to drink. And believe in fairy-tales.”
I hit send at midnight.
Then regret it for the next six hours. Cringing every time I checked my email in box looking for a response.
I wake up and read this.
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| .. |
Now the Universe just thinks this shits funny and is fuckin with me.
(BTW this daily email is NEVER about love or relationships, these are the only two I’ve ever gotten on the subject, what the hell?)
For the record, as fate would have it, that “deep soulful eye contact” it’s referring to is exactly what got this whole damn thing started in the first place! The Universe knows it’s shit, for real.
Then I listened to this song 793 times in a row….
And then my phone rings, I see his face pop up and I stop breathing….
Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.
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Author | Life Coach | Motivational Speaker and single mama. I'm a chick on a mission to prove anything is possible for ANYONE. My story featured in the New York Times, Steve Harvey Show and NBC.
Sarah you are awesome! you know how many people do crap like this but never admit it. Me being one of them. I love that your human and not perfect.I loved reading this.If I lived near you I think we would be great friends LOL Please tell me this story is to be continued there has to be more. LOL
And as for the rest of the story…? I’m
Waiting on an email from
The Universe 🙂
haha well thank you! It was hard to get the nerve to post but I’m glad I did, and even gladder I’m not the only crazy fool on earth!
I am laughing so hard right now…only because we have all either done what you did or thought about doing it. The other new life motto to embrace is… NEVER Facebook DRUNK!
I love you and I love the light you bring to us all! Keep on going…Universe???
LAMO, right??? It was awesome though, the first thing he says when I ans the phone is “that shit was hilarious, your a funny girl”. I’m all “thanks I feel like it’s some of my best work” lol
Darling, next time you want to drunk dial and call someone an asshole, I can give you my ex-husbands number. Just a thought. 😉
~T3~
Hahaha my drunk dial days are over. I’m all good now,but I can still call him an asshole if u want! Lol
😉 There’s a list of things one can call him, assholes is the nice one. Next time you get the urge to drunk dial, call yourself, leave a voice mail of what you want to say to the person you want to drunk dial, call and listen to it right away….. And write blog on how you *may* have sounded worse than you thought. 😉 I’ve saved drunk dial vm’s before, tis no bueno. Teehee!
Hilarious
Sarah i think we are all capable of this. I did just a few nights ago. I asked the universe and litarally i recieved and after a year my head started talking instead my heart. And before i new it i had ended things without really asking myself is this what i really want.?. And i didn’t realize what had happened when a week and a half later i seen a picture of him with someone else. I felt like i broke my own heart. Now part of my soul healing i deleted his # out of my phone and i decided that i will devote 28 days of restudying the loa and put my mind back into the positive mind focus again….sometimes we need to let go of the feelings that we haven’t totally got to say yet. Don’t think to much into it and just live life enjoying it. Thats what i have found that helps me through the confusion. And just keep telling yourself its gonna be a really good life no matter what… 😉
yes, your right! thank you 🙂 it’s a process to let go of a dream 🙁
Great post. First time reader from The Bloggess. All I ask is that when you are writing YOUR when you mean YOU ARE, that you spell it you’re. Please.
LOL welcome to my blog, but yeah spelling and grammar are not my thing unfortunately.. (see disclaimer in my profile) sorry bout that… getting better but it is what it is
Your honesty is so refreshing. I wish everyone could be this candid. It would make everyone else feel less freakish. 🙂
Ohhh thank you do much!! It’s nice to know we’re not alone sometimes
hahaha!!! I am guilty of drunk dialing…I really managed to put the ASS in clASS…LOL…but thank God, those days are long gone…well, not entirely, now when I do it, they’re just hilarious drunk dials to my long lost girlfriends! haha. Love you woman!
You can drunk dial me any day women!! 🙂
I never had the nerve to call him after he bailed. I wish I did, he didn’t deserve to be let off the hook so easy. Now it’s 2 years later, i’m still the loser who thinks about calling him and never does.
Call him on it now! What do you have to lose? Like is too short to live with any regret just do it! 🙂
I’m another referral from The Bloggess. Awesome post — speaking as someone who is also trying to remember not to drunk dial (or text) someone. Thanks for expressing how nuts we can all be.
yay!! I love the Bloggess!! and omg texting… I’m soooo bad at drunk texting!!!! lol #nofilter #sappydrunk! lol
Hi,
I’m a referral from The Bloggess. I have my own blog http://www.farfromnormal.net. You might want to read some the of the entries since you certainly understand being far from normal.
You need to change his name in your phone to “NO!!!!!!!!!!!!”