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| Beauty is in your perception. |
“Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead” as PINK would say. I’ve talked a lot about how to believe lately on my blog and I think it’s a critical step. But than someone asked “how do I even get there?” And I thought, what a great question. I remember when I was starting out and faith was just something I couldn’t even get my head around. I wast ready for it yet. I was so full of self-loathing and life-loathing that having faith it would get better, or that my dreams would come true, was an irrelevant starting point for me.
So I decided I’m gonna take you all to the true FIRST step in changing your life. Change the voices in your head.
You know the ones I mean, the ones that tell you your fat and unattractive. The ones that remind you all day how much your life sucks. The ones that tell you no one will love you. The ones that say your not good enough. That say you suck as a parent. That there will never be enough money. Whatever your demons are (and we have all struggled our entire lives with them) now is the time to rewrite the script in your head.
This is the most difficult part of your journey. It’s harder than believing. Because if you can master this, then believing will come second nature. So know that going in. This will be the part that is the fight of your life.
Pick a part of your life you would like to change, any part. Now think about the loop that runs non-stop in your brain about that specific thing. Is it positive or negative? When you think about it does it make you feel better or worse? If worse, does it have the power to actually change your mood? Make you feel depressed? Make you act on that depression? Does it create a “funk”? Is it all you think about?
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| You control your thoughts, they don’t control you. |
What do I mean? Let me give you an example.
So for me personally I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I was never what would be technically considered “fat or obese” but I was over-weight, and have always been on the curvy side. But obese is how I’ve always FELT. That was the message I fed my brain since I was about 9 years old. It didn’t matter that when I got married I was a lean, hard-body size 8. Nothing mattered, and nothing I could do was good enough to change that message I constantly gave my brain. “I wasn’t pretty, I’m fat” whatever. Without question it was all I thought about from morning till night. It destroyed my mood, depressed me. All the things above it did. Those thoughts controlled me.
So when I learned about the Law of Attraction, it taught me that what I obsess about is what I get more of. That scared the shit outa me! I didn’t want more of THAT.
So I came up with a mantra and hit the gym. My mantra EVERY time a negative thought came into my head was “I can do it, I am strong” (my Facebook friends will recognize this quote as it’s my status whenever I’m having a tough day!). I would (and still do) say it over and over and over in my head, to silence my internal critic.
So my first step, was to kill the negative voices in my head. Think of those thoughts as a computer worm or virus. If someone sent you an email and told you definitively that if you opened it, it had the power to wipe all your files and destroy all your happy memories (photos) with one-click, would you open it? Come on now! So the same rule applies. Those negative thoughts are poison. They have the power to destroy ALL the work you are doing to change your life and your attitude. GIVE THEM NO MIND SPACE. Change the subject on your thoughts, have your mantra ready, and kill it!
Isn’t it liberating to know you have this kinda power on yourself? For me it rocked my world! I had NO idea I could rewrite the script in my head. No one had ever told me that. I thought I was stuck thinking that way for the rest of my life. Thank god that’s total crap, and we do have the power!
It took a while for me. But one day I woke-up looked in the mirror and really liked what I saw. I saw me for the first time the way other people had. I felt beautiful. I was beautiful. Somehow in the mean time the weight had just come off (yes I was always hitting the gym too). But it had stopped being a struggle a long time ago, long before I realized it.
That’s the beauty of this. If you diligently fight for your life to change the voices in your head, one day you will stop fighting and they will be changed. That’s when belief becomes the easy next step.
If you walk away with nothing else from this post, I hope it’s that you realize (like seriously) that it’s you and only you that can do this. You have the power.
And when you do, you will of changed your life.
Pink’s song: Pretty Pretty Please
Sarah Centrella is the author of the book Hustle Believe Receive which teaches you how to apply the #HBRMethod to change your life and live your dream.
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Author | Life Coach | Motivational Speaker and single mama. I'm a chick on a mission to prove anything is possible for ANYONE. My story featured in the New York Times, Steve Harvey Show and NBC.
Great post, Sarah!!!!
But if its only one of the four more “devils” you have in your head ,because recently from being good ,good going dawn the hill and how hard you fighting its still comeing back (just maybe in diferent shape)Then how you believe in one, when the other bringing you down? (and you know its hecky hard when you aint feeling prety inof,lost your job,your house,single Mom with recent medical problems) How you get there ????????? P.S. I want to believe so bad,but i cant ,just cant ,its like a wall in side of me!!!! But i need to…….
I was there. Where you are. Read my really old posts. Read the link “MY Story”. I’ve been there. But (you wont like this) it’s YOUR choice. You are making the choice to feel sorry for yourself and your situation rather then trust that there is something better for you out there and work at making that happen. When my husband left me, I didn’t have $1 to my name. Not $1. Period. I had NO job, hadn’t worked in 2 years, twins that were barley one with a monthly diaper and formula need of $600 per-month, and a 5 year-old. I’d just lost our home less than a year before, just filed BK because of extensive medical bills. I had NOTHING. Nothing. A friend had to bring me gas money, diapers and formula that first week just so my babies wouldn’t starve. I’m saying all this because I’ve been there. Where you are. But on the 3rd day, when I’d been laying on the floor, no-food or water, unable to function, the light went on. I realized I HAD A CHOOSE. I could Sink (and die) or I could CHOSE to swim (and live). I looked at my babies and I got off the floor. I have hustled my ass of every day since. It took me 3 months to find a job, so to feed my kids I sold every single thing I could get $10 for including my wedding rings. But I consciously made that choice that I wasn’t going to sit around and feel sorry for myself anymore. I was going to take control of my life. I was going to be accountable for what happened to me and not blame anyone. It’s been a long struggle. But when I got/get down I have mantra’s ready, I BELIEVE that everything happens for a reason, I trust I’m gonna survive. And I do. And so will you. But it’s your choice. It’s in YOUR hands. You can do it, but you have to want to more than you want to let it swallow you whole.
You can do this! Trust me YOU CAN DO THIS.
Nobody change our life just our self we can change our totally change searching for value of life god bless you wish you
And remember your words are the MOST powerful thing you have….so saying you Cant cant, is telling your brain that you cant, so you don’t and you wont.
No matter what the demons are that try to bring you down, and pull you back in, just change the subject on your brain. Seriously, like when your talking to someone thinking they are listening to you, and then they interrupt you mid-sentence, with a totally different topic or convo. And your like “what the hell”?? Do that to your brain! Your brain will have the same reaction. Then eventually it just gets tired of the game and gives up.
So your challenge is to JUST DO THAT. You don’t need to do ANYTHING ELSE for the next 30 days. ALL you need to do, is change the subject on your brain EVERY SINGLE TIME you have a negative or stressed out thought. Have a mantra ready like “it’s going to be fine, I’m so grateful for the blessings in my life, health and family” or whatever. The point is be happy for what you do have and keep feeding that to your head.
Then in 30 days let me know how you feel. But you gotta be committed…ok ?? You got this! I KNOW you do 🙂
Remember what you’re thinking about is what you get more of. Let that sink in.
I totally agreed with you Sarah,its ultimately “your choice” to change. I made the decision to be happy, to change the way I look to feel better about myself and to choose positive thinking vs negative thinking! Luckily, I had a very supportive team of people feeding me encouragement. But, I had to do the hard work… Nothing is easy….but, its wonderful to reap the fruits of your hardwork!
I still have my moments of “CAN’Ts or Negative Thoughts” but, I make conscious efforts to deviate or kill those moments when they surface. NOT EASY….But, I don’t want my hard work to go to waste because of one “tiny can’t or negative thought.”
Tracy you inspire me 🙂 love to see you positive energy thank you 🙂
What if you have someone around you that likes to swear? I try to block it out, but it is hard. I use to swear a lot, but it didn’t pay so I stopped and I have been trying to tell my boyfriend that, but he doesn’t care.
yeah that is hard…. I guess you can just ask the people around you to be respectful and try to honor your wishes…
thanks for this (: i think this is something that i needed. i found your blog by accident, but you are a very nice person and give great advice. thanks again. (:
Yes! I have definitely found my guru and star 🙂
THANKS again so, so very much
Hugs
thanks for the beautiful comments guys!
Actually, it’s true that your perception is the only thing influencing the way you see your life and yourself. No need to feel pity for yourself (though it’s obviously your own choice or decision. Your world is beautiful when you see it’s beautiful. You are joyful if you see yourself smiling. Everything is this simple. Thank you, Sarah, for the post!